Last week, Angie won her desperately sought-after snowflake when she was told that Meredith was spreading rumors about her husband sleeping with men — a Housewives rite of passage. Naturally, Angie wastes no time storming over to Meredith to confront her about spreading this rumor, which Meredith categorically denies. Did she say she heard rumors about Angie’s husband? Yes. Did she say what they were? Absolutely not. This isn’t Meredith’s first rodeo.
In fact, this is all right out of the Meredith Marks playbook. She alludes to an unspoken rumor, then lets somebody else do the dirty work of actually verbalizing what it is on camera, leaving her hands clean. Most of this is done with her head cocked to the side. This entire confrontation is happening while Meredith wears a cream turtleneck and cape set, giving us an idea of what it would look like if Nancy Meyers directed a superhero movie. And faster than a speeding bullet, she’s gone as soon as Angie accuses her of being the only person stepping out on their marriage.
But Angie’s not done and continues following these women around like a mosquito, crouching beside a seated Meredith like a parent trying to regain control of an unruly toddler. But Angie would have better luck getting a Cocomelon-watching toddler’s attention than she would getting Meredith to engage.
So instead, the rest of the women are caught up to speed, with most of them acting like this is the first time they’re hearing the rumor. Monica thinks they’re all feigning shock since this is apparently well-known gossip around Salt Lake, and Heather vouches for the rumor’s long history. If a man in Utah wears a cardigan, they think he’s gay, she says, so imagine what they think about a male hairdresser.
Mary couldn’t care less about this rumor, probably because she’s still unsure of who Angie is, let alone Shawn. What she is concerned about is the lack of food at Lisa’s party, and she requests a flatbread to go, berating the caterers on her way out.
The next day at Angie’s house, she has to break the news to her heterosexual husband, and the camera immediately focuses on a framed photo of Shawn in a suit and newsboy cap posing beside a pony. (Not helping her case at all.) We find out that this isn’t a new rumor, but as Heather suggested, one that he’s had to listen to for 30 years as a male hairdresser.
Shawn, actually bringing some nuance to this well-trodden trope, clarifies that he doesn’t care about the gay aspect, but the suggestion of adultery upsets him. It upsets him so much, in fact, that he starts to cry at the thought of their daughter, Elektra, hearing about it, and he bans Meredith Marks from their home. Looks like Meredith will have to go elsewhere for spanakopita. In her confessional, Angie explains that infidelity is particularly bad when you’re Greek since it’s against their religion. Angie mentions being Greek so much that I’m starting to think she’s just trying to get the attention of Rita Wilson’s production company.
Meanwhile, Lisa and her son, Jack, go get pedicures, where we finally get to hear more about his mission plans from him directly. He says he’s in the process of reading the Book of Mormon (something I would have probably done before deciding to go spread it, but to each their own), which he describes as “very action-packed.” (Just wait until he sees the musical version.) Lisa herself hasn’t read it, and we get to hear more about her hybrid approach to being Mormon. She explains that they go to church every Sunday, but she isn’t worthy enough to go into the “pretty” temples. The discrepancy between her relationship with the church and Jack’s is fascinating, especially as that gap grows, but the distance it puts between them upsets her. And with his two-year mission, that figurative distance will become real unless his mission trip is to the Sundance Film Festival.
At Angie’s, Lisa and Whitney come over to check on her. Lisa, having been through a very similar situation last season, can commiserate with what she’s going through but finds herself in a challenging situation. She’s really on Angie’s side, but she’s also finally rebuilding her friendship with Meredith and doesn’t want to lose that progress.
So, instead, they turn their attention to Monica, who was the one who actually blurted it out. Whitney says she was just a good friend to Angie, but Lisa — still annoyed by her Snoop Dogg plane-ride accusation — says Monica likes to make stuff up.
So, who does the onus fall on here? We all know that Meredith was pulling the strings, but her hands are technically clean since she was smart enough never to make that accusation on camera. Plus, did Monica even say that she heard the rumor from Meredith? It seems like she knew the rumor independently and just made an educated guess that that was what Meredith was alluding to.
Nevertheless, Meredith is the target of Angie’s ire and her sole focus now that she has smoothed things over with Heather after Palm Springs. In a flashback, we see that Heather invited Angie over to paint birdhouses, where they buried the hatchet. This revelation unexpectedly triggers Lisa, who feels like she never got that kind of support from Heather. Angie has one bad weekend, and she’s getting patted on the back for getting through it; meanwhile, Lisa’s been going through hell for three years and nobody’s inviting her to paint birdhouses!
When it comes time to check in with Meredith, we find out that after Lisa’s party, she and her pink-vest-wearing friend, Kathy, had gotten into a car accident after driving through a snowstorm. As she tells us that the driver lost control, almost sending them over a cliff, the editors cobble together a dramatic Dateline-like reenactment sure to induce motion sickness. Certain that she was about to die, Meredith feared her final moments on Earth would be spent talking to Angie, which is simply no way to go out.
As a result, she’s decided that she’d much rather spend her time with people she loves, so she’s going snowshoeing with Brooks, who, despite his mother’s near-death experience, is driving with his ski goggles on.
Just as talkative as the famously droll Brooks is Monica’s elderly grandmother, who just wants to be driven to her card game in peace. As soon as they arrive, she ditches Monica and her mom, who get into a wide-ranging and grievance-filled conversation about who’s a better mother.
One of Monica’s complaints about her mother’s parenting is the Alec Baldwin–esque diatribe she overheard her mother saying about her on the phone when she thought the call had dropped. It was so terrible that as she repeats it, Monica is scolded by her grandmother across the room for cursing at her card game.
The episode ends with Heather and Whitney skiing, where Heather’s surprised to hear that Whitney doesn’t have any strong feelings about Jack’s mission trip. She doesn’t understand how Whitney can view the church as this horrible, traumatic institution while simultaneously being fine with Jack going door-to-door trying to recruit more people to join it.
That’s why Heather is conflicted, because while she had some positive experiences on her mission, she feels a tremendous amount of shame and guilt about convincing unsuspecting people to join this religion that she now calls homophobic, transphobic, racist, and sexist.
Because of those strong feelings, it’s understandable why Heather was the last person Lisa told about the mission and why she tabled the conversation when Heather tried to get into it. But if Lisa read Bad Mormon, I think she’d find that Heather can have a nuanced, balanced conversation about the missionary experience that could help her have a fuller picture of what her son is embarking on. Given their history of conflict, it makes sense that Lisa doesn’t want to be vulnerable with Heather, but I really wish we could see her take Heather’s perspective on the subject in good faith rather than as an attack. We can only dream.
